I’m sitting here drinking coffee and waiting for the kids to wake up. They have two days left in their summer vacation, so I’m going to let them relax and enjoy it, though I will encourage them to enjoy it at a friend’s house so I can get work done. I’m a rotten mom.
So I’m sitting here drinking coffee, and I thought I would share an experience I had last week and see if anyone else has had similar. My office is right down the hall from a home food delivery service. At a summer barbecue at the office building, they provided the food and were pushing people to let them come to their home to do a no-cost-no-obligation presentation. DH and I said yes (stupidly!) and then proceeded to try to duck the appointment for the next two months. Finally, it was getting awkward and I said, “Yes, we’ll be here on Wednesday.” Our appointment was set for 7:00.
Shortly after the appointed time, a nice young man knocked on the door. We sat down and for the next two hours we were given the sales pitch for the food (Restaurant quality! Comparable or cheaper than what you spend on a weekly grocery trip! Perfectly portioned! All your meals for the next 5 months are planned out! No dairy, bakery or sundries included, but you dont’ want that anyway. You can always stop at the store on your way home.). Followed by a stealth sales pitch for a $2600 freezer (Industrial quality! Lifetime guarantee! Energy Star Certified! Only an additional $77/month for the next 20 years! – Okay, that last one is an exaggeration. It was more like for 60 months, but still…)
My bullsh*t-o-meter first went off when our fine young man announced, “I’m not really a salesman. I work in the warehouse. Your sales guy couldn’t make it.” Then proceded to make the pitch perfectly. After about the first hour, I started to itch. When, well into the second hour, he started on the freezer, I told him point blank, “Look, you have a hard deadline. At 9:00 Project Runway starts, and 5 minutes before that I am going to toss you politely but unceremoniously out of here. What’s the number?”
Okay, can I just tell you now that getting a number from these people is like trying to decipher derivatives in the financial market. Fugghedaboutit. He sent us off so he could run the numbers, with the assurance that “The sales guys take about an hour to do this. I only take 20 minutes.”
“Honey, you haven’t got 20 minutes; you got 12. Start cranking.”
At this point, I had had enough of the almost two hour sales pitch and just wanted my house back to myself. DH was right along with me. Surprisingly, he was really into the whole idea, until the freezer was brought into the equation. Without the freezer, the number came to $360/month (with the freezer it adds up to 437/month). That may not sound terrible until you realize that is for nothing but meat. No bread, no cold cuts for sandwiches, no fruits or vegetables. Oh no, wait, that did include something like a palette of frozen corn kernels, which is the only frozen vegetable they had that I would use). So I still have to go to the grocery store.
When he presented this information, DH and I looked at each other and said, “We need to think about this overnight. Thanks for coming.” He was really shocked. I haven’t been closed this hard in years. He pulled out every Dale Carnegie overcoming objections strategy in the book. I didn’t bother to tell him I had taken all those courses and recognized every single one. Really, it was textbook closing techniques, from someone who told us emphatically and repeatedly that he was not a salesman. My bullsh*t-o-meter was off the scale by the end of the evening. We held firm, and he looked crestfallen. He said, “Wow, this is the first time anyone’s ever said no.” I looked at him very sympathetically and said, “Well that’s okay. There’s a first time for everything.” (Right….)
And at 8:55 I ushered him out the door. I swear, these types of services are built on the model “Get in there, hammer on them for 3 hours, wear them down and they will buy just to get you out of there.” After going back the next day and doing a quick scan of the numbers, we were right. Our weekly grocery bill holds nowhere close to $100 of meats. And to be really honest, I like grocery shopping. I think it harks back to the hunter/gatherer instinct. Going down cellar and pulling 3 cryovac’ed chicken breasts out of the freezer just doesn’t have the same pull. Let me prowl the aisles of DeMoulas, Stop and Shop and Costco and I’m a happy camper.
So that is my Monday morning rumination. Anyone else have experiences like this? The tough part now is that I have to duck my neighbors down the hall. Oh well. Time for another cup of coffee, then I’ll finish my top and review it.