Good Lord What is Dental Care Coming To in the US?

This letter was left for my son after he had 4 permanent teeth and one baby tooth removed today in prep for braces:

“Date: _________________

To: Edward XXXXXXX
From: The Tooth Fairy, LLC

RE: Discharge of Tooth Payment(s)

Dear Edward:

Congratulations on the completion of your baby tooth payment schedule. As a bonus for the removal of four permanent teeth, enclosed is payment for the additional $8.00 ($2 per tooth) plus the requisite $1 for the remaining tooth. A $1 bonus for any baby teeth that are removed before the age of 14 is included. Now please do not darken our pillows again.

Our best wishes with your wisdom teeth. The good news is, according to Dr. Fontaine, you only have two. Please do not call or email about them. They are hereby and formally forthwith the problem of your health plan or that of your parents.

Best regards
Cuspilinda the Great
President”

Holy bicuspids, Batman, what the hell is this world coming to?

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